Jamie Oliver's Dream School - Week 4

I could have predicted last night's episode last week. The kids reduced the headmaster to tears, Jamie was lost for words, and yet there was a glimmer of hope. The somewhat understated transformation of teacher/student relations caught me by surprise when one-to-one conversations appeared on screen. The teachers were finally able to show their brilliance and we got to learn about the individual students rather than the rowdy bunch, one of them even got a signed copy of Starky's book on Elizabeth I, which he duly notes has sold millions, suggesting it's in a bookshop near you and you should buy because the author is on TV and finally comes across as 'a nice guy'.

Tempers flared just before their first Latin class (with Mary Beard) and what could have been an interesting session turned into a huge inter-student argument. When confronted by the headmaster, he became the target of blame for rudely interrupting an argument that he didn't understand, never mind the Latin teacher! 

Poet laureate Sir Andrew Motion made his rules clear that any student who interrupts will be excluded, and Motion hit the nail on the head when he swiftly sent away three kids who were stunned to have been the target of a well-deserved kicking off. Well done on that front, discipline works! and so does a one-to-one talk, take away the distraction of a classroom and (surprise surprise) you'll find the kid has a brain, and feelings... maybe it's their up-bringing that made them this way?

And voila! you have a Channel 4 documentary! Emotion, arguing, frustration, then feelings, lifestyle problems, a bit of blubbering, a teenage mum in trouble, Jamie Oliver looking concerned... what more could they do?

Cherie Blair. Can't wait.

We just can't help ourselves!

Is war being used to justify the Prime Minister's position in power? Maggy Thatcher fought off Argentina, Tony Blair went into Serbia/Liberia/Iraq/Afghanistan, and now David Cameron is going into Libya!

Incidentally you could argue that with each government the type of warfare is changing for the better, as the Falklands War was an old-fashioned punch-up and today's Libyan conflict is a strong military opposition to the Gaddafi regime without actually invading the country. Some have suggested sending a carrier into the Mediterranean would be madness. Madness? This is BRITAIN! we'll just use Malta and Sicily!

Another thing that changes from previous wars is that the 'special relationship' between Britain and the US seems dead and buried. Obama is either a genius and performing magical diplomatic tricks, or he isn't bothered about being a world leader anymore. Cameron may be described as 'aggressive' but I would use the words 'progressive military action' as well. Britain might be much weaker than 100 years ago, but we won't go down lightly!

I wonder if anyone else noticed...

Is the West History? - Review

Apologies for the late post, I've been wrapped up in the whole 'getting a job' business that has so far eluded much of the nation.

Last night I watched 'Is the West History?' by Niall Fergusson. I still can find no reason why Fergusson should rank as a top historian on my bookshelf, his book 'Empire' is staring at me right now. His new program poses an interesting question suggesting the Western world is on the decline after centuries of running the planet. It seems globalisation is shifting Eastward and China is destined not only to take the lead in the world markets, but also re-take it's place on the world stage as a leading civilisation

Fergusson began with an interesting look at China's global supremacy in the middle-ages until it suddenly became isolationist and inward-looking at the death of their much loved Emperor. Europe was experiencing a naval revolution that would propel the West around the world. The second episode touched upon the scientific revolution and explained why the Islamic world gave up it's lead in the field as religion took a greater position in government. Europe on the other hand put religion on a par with science, and thus paved the way for Prussia's military dominance and Britain's liberalised banking system.

His next episode will be about 'Democracy', now THAT will be interesting... He kept me gripped to the history lesson and I cannot wait to see how he approaches the answer to 'Is the West History?'.

10 O'Clock Live - Brilliant, except for one thing.....

10 O'Clock Live is the new much-loved satirical program which launched with 1.373 million viewers and a proud 7.8% audience share. Fantastic, finally a fresh new look at the state of the world. No politician can possibly escape the sharp comments this show fires at them. No underground bunker can protect dictators in the Middle-East from the scrutiny of the British public's views, views which are wrapped in a thin sheet of comedy and fired out of the mouths of accomplished comedy geniuses.

Well, almost.

Charlie Brooker is the reason I watch the show, a headline act who rose to my attention on Newswipe, a program in which he (alone) took a news story, ripped it to shreds, then explained why the whole affair was ridiculous. He seemed unstoppable, any story had a satirical spin and his savage pessimism makes us think deeper about current issues, even if some of his thoughts venture on the mind-numbingly surreal.

David Mitchell is the second in command, and if Brooker ever does leave the show, Mitchell will be more than able to direct the whole show on his own. He has sharp wit delivered with a plethora of words that the 'common man' wouldn't come across in a lifetime. On the other hand, I think some of his best work is on Peep Show, and I cannot wait for the next series!

Jimmy Carr is a classic comedian... no, in fact he's a comedian in a league of his own. A mixture of Brooker's pessimism and Mitchell's quick wit, Carr adds a childish smile and gets everyone laughing, his skits on the show are funny and innovative. Yet at the end of the day, he's not the strongest on the team, it's nice to see him telling different jokes (I'm alluding to some of the sexist and inappropriate jokes he makes as a stand-up comic), but maybe a news show isn't for him...

Lauren Laverne on the other hand was scraping the barrel when came to laughter, her comments fell flat and someone should tell her that saying 'fuck' every few sentences is not the way to make a good show, even with a strong regional accent. Charlie Brooker may say it a lot, but he's a comedy genius. 'Satire' is not just about dumping insults on politicians, like Mitchell, you have to make informed comments. I go back to a previous example of comedy gone wrong where people like Laverne will laugh at Ann Widdecombe because she's ugly, but Mitchell will laugh at the fact that she keeps getting elected despite being a sexist racist ignorant pig who thinks stem cell research is wrong because human/animal hybrids are against nature.

I hope for the next series of 10 O'Clock Live, that Channel 4 realises that Brooker and Mitchell are carrying the show on their shoulders and not getting enough air time. Carr is a comedian and the show shouldn't pile too much newsreading on him, and Laverne is simply wrong for the job. 

But it is satire, and you don't always get it right the first time round. 

Jamie Oliver - Follow-up Report Card

Excellent episode last night from Jamie Oliver's Dream School. David Starkey not only reformed his teaching style but seemed to connect very well with the unruly kids. Although as a human being, Starkey is a rather curious example, maybe he spent a little too long reading in university and not partying. On the other hand, if he had partied, he wouldn't one of the greatest historians.

Discipline was thankfully explained to them and Alistair Campbell's contribution was for me the highlight of the episode. His opening question was 'What does 'politics' make you think off?', the answer was 'boring'; yet this was followed by a passionate debate about welfare. Campbell couldn't have done better, he left the squabbling kids with a big smile on his face, looking at the camera he simply said: 'They're very political.' Job done.

The greatest surprise was from professional photographer John Rankin Waddell, simply known as 'Rankin', who provided a class for photography. This seemed to stimulate the students beyond belief, by the end I was left feeling let down by my own school who had not offered this great subject. I know for sure I want a good camera, maybe for Christmas...

The kids are, of course, the focus. We got to know more about them, understanding their complex lives that are ignored by schools and which explain why some of the brightest kids may not get the right number of GCSEs. But we are still left slightly frustrated that some 'brats' will keep talking to their friends and even answer the phone or start fight while the teacher is literally inches away asking them to listen. It makes my blood boil and if I were Simon Callow, the great Shakespearean actor, accomplished theatre director and proud owner of the letters 'CBE' after his name, I would have thrown Hamlet in the brats face and walked out. Even screaming 'SHUT UP' in his signature stage voice didn't seem to move anyone but the viewers. 

One of the top phrases this episode comes up with is attributed to good old Starky. When discussing with Jamie and the Headmaster the incident where he called a student fat, he said 'I looked at him and I saw an arrogant, self-satisfied porcine boy.' At this point Jamie is cringing, the Headmaster has a hand on his cheek, utter disbelief. Then (because it gets worse!) Starkey says, 'Which means pig-like.'

We know, David, we're not as stupid as you think.

Mission Impossible with Heston Blumenthal - a review

Last night I watched Heston's attempt to radically change the quality of food served on British Airways. At first glance it's easy to see why he chose this difficult task, plane food has an infamous reputation which I've mentioned before: Meals on planes.

A few minutes in and I realised what a marvelous job the chefs do: serving 100,000 customers every day at 35,000 feet, using awful oven which only have two temperature (warm/hot), and the sharpest piece of cutlery they can use is a large spoon.

The chef worked extremely hard in convincing the head chef at Gate Gourmet (food suppliers to BA at Heathrow) that food tastes different at altitude. However the amount of time the program dedicated to convincing him led me to think it was scripted, making the program that much more informative.

The quality of the food Heston provided was remarkable, especially the pill that when given a few drops of water grew into a hand towel. On the other hand his insistence on passengers to use a nasal douche was a touch disturbing, I don't think I would like to inject water up my nostrils and wipe up the mess before every meal.

It wasn't clear whether the food would change, everyone seemed enthusiastic so I suppose we should keep our fingers crossed. Maybe Heston Blumenthal's food is a bit too 'experimental' for BA...

Human Planet

Human Planet is over and I'm sure I'm not alone in hoping the next awesome nature program is just round the corner. Thank you BBC, here are some of my favorite pictures from the program:

Bajau breath diver with rock and spear gun, walking along the sea bottom, Sabah, Malaysia

Gerewol, Niger, Africa

Guarding crops, Simien Mountains, Ethiopia

Bajau sea gypsy girl on her family boat, Sabah, Malaysia

Double rainbow, Central Mongolia

Mother and child in a cave, Zanskar, Ladakh, Indian Himalayas

Jamie Oliver - Report Card

Dream School has just been on and once again Channel 4 has graced our television screens with a show that allows us to laugh at other people's misfortunes. This time Jamie Oliver, acting as a type of Minister for Education rather than a Chef, has organised for 20 kids to attend a 'dream school' where the teachers are experts in their fields.

I would give my right leg and probably a few fingers to be taught by David Starkey, yet the kids were uninterested, texting their friends (or each other?), and talking about anything but History. Starkey made a sly comment about one kid's weight and an argument erupted that lasted several days. Starkey refused to teach another lesson until the school accepted that the kids are too pampered and need rules. He is from a generation of rules and regulations, where students were expected to respect the teacher and learn in silence or be punished, not today David. The headmaster is talking about kicking Starkey off the course. If that doesn't show what's wrong with the country then I give up.

Jamie witnessed other lessons where kids were vulgar and disrespectful, somehow this is ok because they went through hardship in school, so we should feel sorry for them, give them a hug, and let them do whatever they want. That way we'll avoid hurting their feelings.

Some of the kids hate the program, some of the teachers (who are professionals with REAL jobs) are threatening to quit. So far not so good, but if you watch other Jamie Oliver programs (in particular where he tried changing a town's food habits in the USA) you'll see that the first episode always leaves you thinking Jamie will fail.

I'll give Jamie a C- for this episode, hopefully the kids will be disciplined or maybe be taught what the word 'respect' means. I don't really want to watch another episode where Rolf Harris feels sad, or where a thug with a spray can gets annoyed and wears a hoodie.

Fingers crossed.

PS. On the other hand, Starkey is a crap secondary school teacher who is completely disconnected from the modern world and should be replaced with someone young and enthusiastic... Dan Snow would have been FANTASTIC.

War in Libya

Let's hope that if various countries (USA/UK) do go into Libya shooting frantically in all directions, that they have a better excuse than 'we thought he had WMDs'!

Luckily neo-conservatism is dead and buried, even New Labour is gone. So we should see a little more emphasis on refugee camps and food aid. On the other hand sanctions should strike a steady balance between soft-pointless-economic-slap-on-the-knuckles-non-permanent-punishment and all-out-war.

Sorry Gaddafi, your fashion sense is finally coming to an end.