A conundrum smacked me across the face as I browsed random tech websites and I found many references to the iPad 3. Of course Apple have released NOTHING and won't until they are more than ready to do so BUT... here is my problem:
I am saving to buy an iPad 2 next Easter, but what if by then Apple announces the release of the much-more-awesome iPad 3 sometime around September?
Do I get an iPad 2 early? Or an iPad 3 later?
These are the issues we face for 2012, let's enjoy the new year!
Wednesday, 28 December 2011
Thursday, 1 December 2011
Sack Jeremy Clarkson? How low can Unison go?
From the BBC:
'Jeremy Clarkson should be sacked by the BBC over his "appalling" comments about killing striking public sector workers, trade union Unison has said.
The union said it was considering reporting the Top Gear presenter to the police over comments on The One Show.
Referring to striking workers, Mr Clarkson said: "I'd have them all shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families."'
He didn't ACTUALLY mean they should be LITERALLY taken out and SHOT! That would be ridiculous! However, more ridiculous is Unison's belief that he is inciting hatred, fanaticism, and that his words echo those of Gaddafi!
How long are we going to tolerate such language from the unions? And while I am on the topic:
I am a self-employed private tutor, I make £100 a week and help my private sector working fiancee with bills, she cannot afford a pension (by the way!). I am 24 years old and have nothing to put away for when I retire. I cannot claim benefits because I haven't contributed enough national insurance (i.e. haven't had a proper job paying taxes) and cannot get a job for lack of experience! The word pension NEVER enters my daily conversations.
To see these public sector workers complain they don't get enough money after retirement, when so many private sector workers cannot even contemplate a pension, is disgusting. And I feel so repulsed by their attitude that I too feel they should be taken out and shot!
Of course Clarkson and I don't mean we are prepared to see them shot; what we are saying is they should shut up and keep working. And as if to make their position worse, Heathrow was working more efficiently without them!
Dear Unison, if you want Clarkson fired, why not put me in prison while you're at it, and probably the millions who agree with him!
So much for freedom of speech.
'Jeremy Clarkson should be sacked by the BBC over his "appalling" comments about killing striking public sector workers, trade union Unison has said.
The union said it was considering reporting the Top Gear presenter to the police over comments on The One Show.
Referring to striking workers, Mr Clarkson said: "I'd have them all shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families."'
He didn't ACTUALLY mean they should be LITERALLY taken out and SHOT! That would be ridiculous! However, more ridiculous is Unison's belief that he is inciting hatred, fanaticism, and that his words echo those of Gaddafi!
How long are we going to tolerate such language from the unions? And while I am on the topic:
I am a self-employed private tutor, I make £100 a week and help my private sector working fiancee with bills, she cannot afford a pension (by the way!). I am 24 years old and have nothing to put away for when I retire. I cannot claim benefits because I haven't contributed enough national insurance (i.e. haven't had a proper job paying taxes) and cannot get a job for lack of experience! The word pension NEVER enters my daily conversations.
To see these public sector workers complain they don't get enough money after retirement, when so many private sector workers cannot even contemplate a pension, is disgusting. And I feel so repulsed by their attitude that I too feel they should be taken out and shot!
Of course Clarkson and I don't mean we are prepared to see them shot; what we are saying is they should shut up and keep working. And as if to make their position worse, Heathrow was working more efficiently without them!
Dear Unison, if you want Clarkson fired, why not put me in prison while you're at it, and probably the millions who agree with him!
So much for freedom of speech.
Wednesday, 14 September 2011
Review: The Body Farm
BBC One is teasing us with another new series this autumn before it eventually gives us what we want (what will happen to Dr Who? and when can we see Benedict Cumberbatch again?).
The Body Farm is a semi-resurrected 'Waking the Dead' which was officially pronounced dead last year (thankfully) but somehow in the multitude of BBC scripts Dr Eve Lockhart survived (played by Tara Fitzgerald). The episode began with a philosophical justification for the way Lockhart farms putrefying bodies full of maggots and worm, not simply content with the usual rant about justice, the audience is given the privilege of a monologue: “I have two promises that I vow to keep. My promise to the murderer is this: I will find you… To the victim I promise this: I will unlock the mechanism of your murder.” I must admit I giggled, but I can afford to risk wasting an hour, so let's see what happens next...
Introducing the characters was painfully cliché, we have the love interest/good looking cool dude, of course we need a weird genius with a mental problem (I hope he becomes the Hulk), and finally the way-over-the-top-sentimental feminist who's sole purpose is to feel for the victim, ignore the science and care about the human. Oh and there is plenty of multiculturalism! So much so I felt the BBC was begging the public not to criticize it's ethnic quota.
The show followed the typical crime plot, I thought there was too much feeling for a crime drama, I would have liked a bit more CSI New York, straight to the point without the wishy washy nonesense, maybe get a car chase? There was a moment when Lockhart asks for DNA swabs of a kid's parents to prove he was a victim, the dad steps forward and says (demands) that he will give one (what a hero!); then his wife nudges him and says no! (he retorts, why the hell not! he's my son!) She reminds him he's not the biological dad (he's still my son!).
Shit, bring on Jeremy Kyle. And that is how I felt watching Body Farm.
Monday, 15 August 2011
Privatization of the Police Force
With all the brouhaha going on about our police force (sorry, I mean police service, or public protection service?), I thought this video would be especially poignant.
Tuesday, 9 August 2011
London Riots: Illogical senseless destruction from a marginalised minority
London has erupted in flames as rioters stormed the streets and emptied shops, destroying the communities that support them. The incredulous violent actions of what are now described as 'youths' are a clear message that there is a marginalised group of people who have been left to slip out of our society.
Some criminals have stated on the news that it's all 'a bit of fun', saying it is not only justified but necessary:
The effect of this should be a complete re-think of how the UK deals with people on the fringe of society; The people who live solely on government benefits, the high levels of teenage pregnancy, the uneven education throughout the country, the binge drinking culture.
Moreover, we must find a way of telling these people (especially those in the video above) that they are wrong, they must take responsibility, they must understand what it is to work. And also that not all business owners, especially in small businesses, are rich. The difference is they have worked very hard to make a decent living and are probably struggling through the economic conditions. They don't need and uneducated thug telling them they deserve to be set on fire.
This is Britain's underclass; how can they be this angry, this undisciplined, so uncaring?
Tuesday, 2 August 2011
Friday, 29 July 2011
How the press isn't all to blame for calling Muslims 'terrorists'
This funny little statement which to be making it's way around the Web:
'If the person who killed 90+ people in Norway was a Muslim, the Press would have declared him as terrorist. For now though, he is just an 'Assailant ', 'Attacker' (Reuters), 'Gunman' (BBC, CNN & Al Jazeera). Looks like 'Terrorist ' is a name reserved for Muslims? The US Dept of State calls it an 'Act of Violence', Not an 'Act of Terrorism' . Share this and let the world know, HYPOCRISY is leading us astray.'
After a brief look at the US Department of State website, one comes across a statement made by Hilary Clinton on July 23rd: 'I just want to express my heartfelt sympathy and solidarity with the people of Norway. The United States strongly condemns any kind of terrorism no matter where it comes from'
The BBC states: 'Mr Breivik is being held in an Oslo jail pending his trial on charges of terrorism.'
Al Jazeera has a July 29th article called: 'Arrested US soldier 'admits to terror plot''
So what is leading us 'astray' is in fact the ignorant tabloid journalism that jumps at the opportunity to spread fear and lies, blaming mainstream press for portraying Muslims as terrorist. It is certainly true that the Press isn't without it's faults, the recent phone hacking scandal is a tribute to how badly things can go wrong; but they aren't all to blame.
'If the person who killed 90+ people in Norway was a Muslim, the Press would have declared him as terrorist. For now though, he is just an 'Assailant ', 'Attacker' (Reuters), 'Gunman' (BBC, CNN & Al Jazeera). Looks like 'Terrorist ' is a name reserved for Muslims? The US Dept of State calls it an 'Act of Violence', Not an 'Act of Terrorism' . Share this and let the world know, HYPOCRISY is leading us astray.'
After a brief look at the US Department of State website, one comes across a statement made by Hilary Clinton on July 23rd: 'I just want to express my heartfelt sympathy and solidarity with the people of Norway. The United States strongly condemns any kind of terrorism no matter where it comes from'
The BBC states: 'Mr Breivik is being held in an Oslo jail pending his trial on charges of terrorism.'
Al Jazeera has a July 29th article called: 'Arrested US soldier 'admits to terror plot''
So what is leading us 'astray' is in fact the ignorant tabloid journalism that jumps at the opportunity to spread fear and lies, blaming mainstream press for portraying Muslims as terrorist. It is certainly true that the Press isn't without it's faults, the recent phone hacking scandal is a tribute to how badly things can go wrong; but they aren't all to blame.
Tuesday, 12 July 2011
Dragon's Den Canada Review
Dragon's Den is Britain's answer to a bored afternoon watching Dave. Today I'm watching the Canadian version, the intro has showered my attention with how much money the Dragons earn, how big their property is, how many cattle they own. Immediately I missed Peter Jones' introduction of how he built a multimillion dollar empire in telecommunications.
The first 'what seemed to be a contestant' came on asking the Dragons if they liked baseball. He was rude, in your face, interrupting and unprofessional. He was asked questions about money but he kept asking them if they like baseball and saying he wanted their money. Then he said they asked the wrong questions! MAD
Then we had a vending machine selling water that would sit next to water fountains! MAD
The set looks awful, the make-up is too thick, the woman presenting doesn't connect as well as Evan Davis, and her voice cuts in at weird points during the presentations.
So far not so good, it's just human bear-baiting.
On the other hand, I do like hearing the odd Canadian accent, especially when they say 'I'm AA-OO-T'. I do love Canada by the way!
The first 'what seemed to be a contestant' came on asking the Dragons if they liked baseball. He was rude, in your face, interrupting and unprofessional. He was asked questions about money but he kept asking them if they like baseball and saying he wanted their money. Then he said they asked the wrong questions! MAD
Then we had a vending machine selling water that would sit next to water fountains! MAD
The set looks awful, the make-up is too thick, the woman presenting doesn't connect as well as Evan Davis, and her voice cuts in at weird points during the presentations.
So far not so good, it's just human bear-baiting.
On the other hand, I do like hearing the odd Canadian accent, especially when they say 'I'm AA-OO-T'. I do love Canada by the way!
Thursday, 7 July 2011
Hugh Grant puts News of the World hackers in their place
No description needed, this video says it all!
Tuesday, 17 May 2011
Queen Elizabeth visits Ireland
For the first time in 100 years, a British monarch is visiting the Republic of Ireland. The last time this happened the Irish were British subjects, and 90 years since independence it is clear that old troubles still exist.
Two bomb scares however have not deterred Her Majesty from making a visit that will certainly find its way into future GCSE books about the Anglo-Irish crisis. By crisis I mean all the events over the last 600 years which have contributed to the fear and hatred of the two societies involved.
Some Irish nationals claim that the border between the two countries is just as dangerous as 20 years ago, and that the press in both countries sees it as in their best interests not to report attacks. Internationally, news has hailed the visit of Queen Elizabeth the First. 'Now that would be historic!' says Mark Davenport, Northern Ireland political correspondent on Twitter.
While David Cameron calls this an historic day, one is left wondering what the future holds for Ireland. With the economic crisis, the bomb scares, and the relationship with the EU, is the Republic of Ireland going to look the same in 100 years time?
A page has certainly been turned, and I am sure a book is being written about the visit. Hopefully it will be positive, and will probably point out the effect of the visit being around Easter. The Queen has always been one for symbolism!
Two bomb scares however have not deterred Her Majesty from making a visit that will certainly find its way into future GCSE books about the Anglo-Irish crisis. By crisis I mean all the events over the last 600 years which have contributed to the fear and hatred of the two societies involved.
Some Irish nationals claim that the border between the two countries is just as dangerous as 20 years ago, and that the press in both countries sees it as in their best interests not to report attacks. Internationally, news has hailed the visit of Queen Elizabeth the First. 'Now that would be historic!' says Mark Davenport, Northern Ireland political correspondent on Twitter.
While David Cameron calls this an historic day, one is left wondering what the future holds for Ireland. With the economic crisis, the bomb scares, and the relationship with the EU, is the Republic of Ireland going to look the same in 100 years time?
A page has certainly been turned, and I am sure a book is being written about the visit. Hopefully it will be positive, and will probably point out the effect of the visit being around Easter. The Queen has always been one for symbolism!
Saturday, 14 May 2011
The Apprentice is back!
As the title may suggest... the Apprentice is back! Wednesdays at 9pm will be spent watching the 7 season of this amazing show.
Lord Sugar is finally back on our screens firing the idiots that somehow make it onto the program. I heard a very true fact on the radio today: the first seasons offered the audience the chance to see actual professionals perform at their best (does anyone remember Ruth Badger?). I remember thinking that I really wanted to try my hand in business, but watching today's contestants I'm left feeling I dodged a bullet, working with people who act like the back end of a flatulent giant living ego because they think they should is simply ridiculous. They certainly are very good, and some have an admirably suave... but please loose the childish attitudes!
We're left with a program that entertains us, the public's interest in business is replaced with hope that the contestants will fail and get yelled at by the big boss.
But that's fine because we remember why we watch it, it's terrific fun and if these characters can make it then I'm sure I can.
Lord Sugar is finally back on our screens firing the idiots that somehow make it onto the program. I heard a very true fact on the radio today: the first seasons offered the audience the chance to see actual professionals perform at their best (does anyone remember Ruth Badger?). I remember thinking that I really wanted to try my hand in business, but watching today's contestants I'm left feeling I dodged a bullet, working with people who act like the back end of a flatulent giant living ego because they think they should is simply ridiculous. They certainly are very good, and some have an admirably suave... but please loose the childish attitudes!
We're left with a program that entertains us, the public's interest in business is replaced with hope that the contestants will fail and get yelled at by the big boss.
But that's fine because we remember why we watch it, it's terrific fun and if these characters can make it then I'm sure I can.
Thursday, 28 April 2011
Tuesday, 26 April 2011
Interesting Spread of Nuclear Power
With the mess of Chernobyl back in the news, the BBC website has provided this interesting map of the number of nuclear reactors at certain times in history. I hadn't realised how many reactors the UK built in the 1960s, many more than the US! Another thing is it shows France's dependency on nuclear power, I vaguely remember one of the things Sarkozy's government did first was built a dozen new reactors.
Article accessible HERE.
Article accessible HERE.
Friday, 1 April 2011
Friday Night Dinner - Fantastic new comedy sitcom
Ok maybe not 'new', the fifth episode airs on April 1st, here are a couple pictures to show who stars and what you can expect from these great episodes.
The family, played by Simon Bird, Tom Rosenthal, Paul Ritter and Tamsin Greig.
The neighbour 'Jim'. Played by Mark Heap, whom I first noticed playing Prince Tertius in the 2007 film 'Stardust', also highly recommended. This neighbour fears his own dog and finds himself unknowingly in the most awkward social situations, it's a remarkably character and looks like great fun to play. One moment that sticks out is when his dog gets drunk and is carried home by the boys (played by Simon Bird and Tom Rosenthal), when one asks 'Isn't he going to wake up?', Jim jumps backward in shock whimpering the words 'Is he?'. Last week saw the mum (played by Tamsin Greig) running thinking her best friend has come round to show off a new dress, she skips excitedly toward the door singing 'I'm getting married in the morning! Ding Dong? the bells are going to...' She opens the door to find Jim singing '...chime' and smiling happily.
Very awkward and absolutely legendary comedy from Robert Popper's new show.
The family, played by Simon Bird, Tom Rosenthal, Paul Ritter and Tamsin Greig.
The neighbour 'Jim'. Played by Mark Heap, whom I first noticed playing Prince Tertius in the 2007 film 'Stardust', also highly recommended. This neighbour fears his own dog and finds himself unknowingly in the most awkward social situations, it's a remarkably character and looks like great fun to play. One moment that sticks out is when his dog gets drunk and is carried home by the boys (played by Simon Bird and Tom Rosenthal), when one asks 'Isn't he going to wake up?', Jim jumps backward in shock whimpering the words 'Is he?'. Last week saw the mum (played by Tamsin Greig) running thinking her best friend has come round to show off a new dress, she skips excitedly toward the door singing 'I'm getting married in the morning! Ding Dong? the bells are going to...' She opens the door to find Jim singing '...chime' and smiling happily.
Very awkward and absolutely legendary comedy from Robert Popper's new show.
My final 10 O'clock Live review
The time is 1am and I feel like exploring the bizarre lands beyond my grammatically incomprehensible mind. I watched the first half of 10 O'clock Live this evening only to find Lauren had not only increase her foul vocab but also fell into what must have been Alan Carr's wardrobe, emerging with a hideous pink jacket peppered with glittery rocks with matched the large metallic teddy bear hanging off her necklace. I would have turned the channel over anyway as even Charlie Brooker was a being a bit too vulgar, and Jimmy Carr appearing in pink frock and a blond wig spending 5 minutes selling holiday getaways to a bloke in a Gaddafi costume signaled an unexpected low in his career. The show seems to have gone from cutting edge political satire to a series of confusing gags involving politicians with the odd debate thrown in. Jimmy Carr, I've seen you do better.
David Mitchell hosted a debate between a Labour MP, a Tory MP and an Activist. I don't want to spoil it but you can imagine what the result was. Yes, 2 minutes of shouting, laughing and David firing terrific questions at people with opinions. It was hard to watch as he asked those questions knowing he wouldn't get anywhere near a satisfying reply in the few minutes he had. In the end we had more swearing, comparisons of the government to a man getting intimate with a panda, and swooping camera shots between satirical skits. Even if my cat hadn't fallen in the Vaseline and started running round like a maniac foaming at the mouth, I'm sure I would have changed the channel anyway!
David Mitchell hosted a debate between a Labour MP, a Tory MP and an Activist. I don't want to spoil it but you can imagine what the result was. Yes, 2 minutes of shouting, laughing and David firing terrific questions at people with opinions. It was hard to watch as he asked those questions knowing he wouldn't get anywhere near a satisfying reply in the few minutes he had. In the end we had more swearing, comparisons of the government to a man getting intimate with a panda, and swooping camera shots between satirical skits. Even if my cat hadn't fallen in the Vaseline and started running round like a maniac foaming at the mouth, I'm sure I would have changed the channel anyway!
Thursday, 24 March 2011
Jamie Oliver's Dream School - Week 4
I could have predicted last night's episode last week. The kids reduced the headmaster to tears, Jamie was lost for words, and yet there was a glimmer of hope. The somewhat understated transformation of teacher/student relations caught me by surprise when one-to-one conversations appeared on screen. The teachers were finally able to show their brilliance and we got to learn about the individual students rather than the rowdy bunch, one of them even got a signed copy of Starky's book on Elizabeth I, which he duly notes has sold millions, suggesting it's in a bookshop near you and you should buy because the author is on TV and finally comes across as 'a nice guy'.
Tempers flared just before their first Latin class (with Mary Beard) and what could have been an interesting session turned into a huge inter-student argument. When confronted by the headmaster, he became the target of blame for rudely interrupting an argument that he didn't understand, never mind the Latin teacher!
Poet laureate Sir Andrew Motion made his rules clear that any student who interrupts will be excluded, and Motion hit the nail on the head when he swiftly sent away three kids who were stunned to have been the target of a well-deserved kicking off. Well done on that front, discipline works! and so does a one-to-one talk, take away the distraction of a classroom and (surprise surprise) you'll find the kid has a brain, and feelings... maybe it's their up-bringing that made them this way?
And voila! you have a Channel 4 documentary! Emotion, arguing, frustration, then feelings, lifestyle problems, a bit of blubbering, a teenage mum in trouble, Jamie Oliver looking concerned... what more could they do?
Cherie Blair. Can't wait.
Tempers flared just before their first Latin class (with Mary Beard) and what could have been an interesting session turned into a huge inter-student argument. When confronted by the headmaster, he became the target of blame for rudely interrupting an argument that he didn't understand, never mind the Latin teacher!
Poet laureate Sir Andrew Motion made his rules clear that any student who interrupts will be excluded, and Motion hit the nail on the head when he swiftly sent away three kids who were stunned to have been the target of a well-deserved kicking off. Well done on that front, discipline works! and so does a one-to-one talk, take away the distraction of a classroom and (surprise surprise) you'll find the kid has a brain, and feelings... maybe it's their up-bringing that made them this way?
And voila! you have a Channel 4 documentary! Emotion, arguing, frustration, then feelings, lifestyle problems, a bit of blubbering, a teenage mum in trouble, Jamie Oliver looking concerned... what more could they do?
Cherie Blair. Can't wait.
Friday, 18 March 2011
We just can't help ourselves!
Is war being used to justify the Prime Minister's position in power? Maggy Thatcher fought off Argentina, Tony Blair went into Serbia/Liberia/Iraq/Afghanistan, and now David Cameron is going into Libya!
Incidentally you could argue that with each government the type of warfare is changing for the better, as the Falklands War was an old-fashioned punch-up and today's Libyan conflict is a strong military opposition to the Gaddafi regime without actually invading the country. Some have suggested sending a carrier into the Mediterranean would be madness. Madness? This is BRITAIN! we'll just use Malta and Sicily!
Another thing that changes from previous wars is that the 'special relationship' between Britain and the US seems dead and buried. Obama is either a genius and performing magical diplomatic tricks, or he isn't bothered about being a world leader anymore. Cameron may be described as 'aggressive' but I would use the words 'progressive military action' as well. Britain might be much weaker than 100 years ago, but we won't go down lightly!
I wonder if anyone else noticed...
Incidentally you could argue that with each government the type of warfare is changing for the better, as the Falklands War was an old-fashioned punch-up and today's Libyan conflict is a strong military opposition to the Gaddafi regime without actually invading the country. Some have suggested sending a carrier into the Mediterranean would be madness. Madness? This is BRITAIN! we'll just use Malta and Sicily!
Another thing that changes from previous wars is that the 'special relationship' between Britain and the US seems dead and buried. Obama is either a genius and performing magical diplomatic tricks, or he isn't bothered about being a world leader anymore. Cameron may be described as 'aggressive' but I would use the words 'progressive military action' as well. Britain might be much weaker than 100 years ago, but we won't go down lightly!
I wonder if anyone else noticed...
Tuesday, 15 March 2011
Is the West History? - Review
Apologies for the late post, I've been wrapped up in the whole 'getting a job' business that has so far eluded much of the nation.
Last night I watched 'Is the West History?' by Niall Fergusson. I still can find no reason why Fergusson should rank as a top historian on my bookshelf, his book 'Empire' is staring at me right now. His new program poses an interesting question suggesting the Western world is on the decline after centuries of running the planet. It seems globalisation is shifting Eastward and China is destined not only to take the lead in the world markets, but also re-take it's place on the world stage as a leading civilisation
Fergusson began with an interesting look at China's global supremacy in the middle-ages until it suddenly became isolationist and inward-looking at the death of their much loved Emperor. Europe was experiencing a naval revolution that would propel the West around the world. The second episode touched upon the scientific revolution and explained why the Islamic world gave up it's lead in the field as religion took a greater position in government. Europe on the other hand put religion on a par with science, and thus paved the way for Prussia's military dominance and Britain's liberalised banking system.
His next episode will be about 'Democracy', now THAT will be interesting... He kept me gripped to the history lesson and I cannot wait to see how he approaches the answer to 'Is the West History?'.
Last night I watched 'Is the West History?' by Niall Fergusson. I still can find no reason why Fergusson should rank as a top historian on my bookshelf, his book 'Empire' is staring at me right now. His new program poses an interesting question suggesting the Western world is on the decline after centuries of running the planet. It seems globalisation is shifting Eastward and China is destined not only to take the lead in the world markets, but also re-take it's place on the world stage as a leading civilisation
Fergusson began with an interesting look at China's global supremacy in the middle-ages until it suddenly became isolationist and inward-looking at the death of their much loved Emperor. Europe was experiencing a naval revolution that would propel the West around the world. The second episode touched upon the scientific revolution and explained why the Islamic world gave up it's lead in the field as religion took a greater position in government. Europe on the other hand put religion on a par with science, and thus paved the way for Prussia's military dominance and Britain's liberalised banking system.
His next episode will be about 'Democracy', now THAT will be interesting... He kept me gripped to the history lesson and I cannot wait to see how he approaches the answer to 'Is the West History?'.
Thursday, 10 March 2011
10 O'Clock Live - Brilliant, except for one thing.....
10 O'Clock Live is the new much-loved satirical program which launched with 1.373 million viewers and a proud 7.8% audience share. Fantastic, finally a fresh new look at the state of the world. No politician can possibly escape the sharp comments this show fires at them. No underground bunker can protect dictators in the Middle-East from the scrutiny of the British public's views, views which are wrapped in a thin sheet of comedy and fired out of the mouths of accomplished comedy geniuses.
Well, almost.
Charlie Brooker is the reason I watch the show, a headline act who rose to my attention on Newswipe, a program in which he (alone) took a news story, ripped it to shreds, then explained why the whole affair was ridiculous. He seemed unstoppable, any story had a satirical spin and his savage pessimism makes us think deeper about current issues, even if some of his thoughts venture on the mind-numbingly surreal.
David Mitchell is the second in command, and if Brooker ever does leave the show, Mitchell will be more than able to direct the whole show on his own. He has sharp wit delivered with a plethora of words that the 'common man' wouldn't come across in a lifetime. On the other hand, I think some of his best work is on Peep Show, and I cannot wait for the next series!
Jimmy Carr is a classic comedian... no, in fact he's a comedian in a league of his own. A mixture of Brooker's pessimism and Mitchell's quick wit, Carr adds a childish smile and gets everyone laughing, his skits on the show are funny and innovative. Yet at the end of the day, he's not the strongest on the team, it's nice to see him telling different jokes (I'm alluding to some of the sexist and inappropriate jokes he makes as a stand-up comic), but maybe a news show isn't for him...
Lauren Laverne on the other hand was scraping the barrel when came to laughter, her comments fell flat and someone should tell her that saying 'fuck' every few sentences is not the way to make a good show, even with a strong regional accent. Charlie Brooker may say it a lot, but he's a comedy genius. 'Satire' is not just about dumping insults on politicians, like Mitchell, you have to make informed comments. I go back to a previous example of comedy gone wrong where people like Laverne will laugh at Ann Widdecombe because she's ugly, but Mitchell will laugh at the fact that she keeps getting elected despite being a sexist racist ignorant pig who thinks stem cell research is wrong because human/animal hybrids are against nature.
I hope for the next series of 10 O'Clock Live, that Channel 4 realises that Brooker and Mitchell are carrying the show on their shoulders and not getting enough air time. Carr is a comedian and the show shouldn't pile too much newsreading on him, and Laverne is simply wrong for the job.
But it is satire, and you don't always get it right the first time round.
Jamie Oliver - Follow-up Report Card
Excellent episode last night from Jamie Oliver's Dream School. David Starkey not only reformed his teaching style but seemed to connect very well with the unruly kids. Although as a human being, Starkey is a rather curious example, maybe he spent a little too long reading in university and not partying. On the other hand, if he had partied, he wouldn't one of the greatest historians.
Discipline was thankfully explained to them and Alistair Campbell's contribution was for me the highlight of the episode. His opening question was 'What does 'politics' make you think off?', the answer was 'boring'; yet this was followed by a passionate debate about welfare. Campbell couldn't have done better, he left the squabbling kids with a big smile on his face, looking at the camera he simply said: 'They're very political.' Job done.
The greatest surprise was from professional photographer John Rankin Waddell, simply known as 'Rankin', who provided a class for photography. This seemed to stimulate the students beyond belief, by the end I was left feeling let down by my own school who had not offered this great subject. I know for sure I want a good camera, maybe for Christmas...
The kids are, of course, the focus. We got to know more about them, understanding their complex lives that are ignored by schools and which explain why some of the brightest kids may not get the right number of GCSEs. But we are still left slightly frustrated that some 'brats' will keep talking to their friends and even answer the phone or start fight while the teacher is literally inches away asking them to listen. It makes my blood boil and if I were Simon Callow, the great Shakespearean actor, accomplished theatre director and proud owner of the letters 'CBE' after his name, I would have thrown Hamlet in the brats face and walked out. Even screaming 'SHUT UP' in his signature stage voice didn't seem to move anyone but the viewers.
One of the top phrases this episode comes up with is attributed to good old Starky. When discussing with Jamie and the Headmaster the incident where he called a student fat, he said 'I looked at him and I saw an arrogant, self-satisfied porcine boy.' At this point Jamie is cringing, the Headmaster has a hand on his cheek, utter disbelief. Then (because it gets worse!) Starkey says, 'Which means pig-like.'
We know, David, we're not as stupid as you think.
Discipline was thankfully explained to them and Alistair Campbell's contribution was for me the highlight of the episode. His opening question was 'What does 'politics' make you think off?', the answer was 'boring'; yet this was followed by a passionate debate about welfare. Campbell couldn't have done better, he left the squabbling kids with a big smile on his face, looking at the camera he simply said: 'They're very political.' Job done.
The greatest surprise was from professional photographer John Rankin Waddell, simply known as 'Rankin', who provided a class for photography. This seemed to stimulate the students beyond belief, by the end I was left feeling let down by my own school who had not offered this great subject. I know for sure I want a good camera, maybe for Christmas...
The kids are, of course, the focus. We got to know more about them, understanding their complex lives that are ignored by schools and which explain why some of the brightest kids may not get the right number of GCSEs. But we are still left slightly frustrated that some 'brats' will keep talking to their friends and even answer the phone or start fight while the teacher is literally inches away asking them to listen. It makes my blood boil and if I were Simon Callow, the great Shakespearean actor, accomplished theatre director and proud owner of the letters 'CBE' after his name, I would have thrown Hamlet in the brats face and walked out. Even screaming 'SHUT UP' in his signature stage voice didn't seem to move anyone but the viewers.
One of the top phrases this episode comes up with is attributed to good old Starky. When discussing with Jamie and the Headmaster the incident where he called a student fat, he said 'I looked at him and I saw an arrogant, self-satisfied porcine boy.' At this point Jamie is cringing, the Headmaster has a hand on his cheek, utter disbelief. Then (because it gets worse!) Starkey says, 'Which means pig-like.'
We know, David, we're not as stupid as you think.
Wednesday, 9 March 2011
Mission Impossible with Heston Blumenthal - a review
Last night I watched Heston's attempt to radically change the quality of food served on British Airways. At first glance it's easy to see why he chose this difficult task, plane food has an infamous reputation which I've mentioned before: Meals on planes.
A few minutes in and I realised what a marvelous job the chefs do: serving 100,000 customers every day at 35,000 feet, using awful oven which only have two temperature (warm/hot), and the sharpest piece of cutlery they can use is a large spoon.
The chef worked extremely hard in convincing the head chef at Gate Gourmet (food suppliers to BA at Heathrow) that food tastes different at altitude. However the amount of time the program dedicated to convincing him led me to think it was scripted, making the program that much more informative.
The quality of the food Heston provided was remarkable, especially the pill that when given a few drops of water grew into a hand towel. On the other hand his insistence on passengers to use a nasal douche was a touch disturbing, I don't think I would like to inject water up my nostrils and wipe up the mess before every meal.
It wasn't clear whether the food would change, everyone seemed enthusiastic so I suppose we should keep our fingers crossed. Maybe Heston Blumenthal's food is a bit too 'experimental' for BA...
A few minutes in and I realised what a marvelous job the chefs do: serving 100,000 customers every day at 35,000 feet, using awful oven which only have two temperature (warm/hot), and the sharpest piece of cutlery they can use is a large spoon.
The chef worked extremely hard in convincing the head chef at Gate Gourmet (food suppliers to BA at Heathrow) that food tastes different at altitude. However the amount of time the program dedicated to convincing him led me to think it was scripted, making the program that much more informative.
The quality of the food Heston provided was remarkable, especially the pill that when given a few drops of water grew into a hand towel. On the other hand his insistence on passengers to use a nasal douche was a touch disturbing, I don't think I would like to inject water up my nostrils and wipe up the mess before every meal.
It wasn't clear whether the food would change, everyone seemed enthusiastic so I suppose we should keep our fingers crossed. Maybe Heston Blumenthal's food is a bit too 'experimental' for BA...
Thursday, 3 March 2011
Human Planet
Human Planet is over and I'm sure I'm not alone in hoping the next awesome nature program is just round the corner. Thank you BBC, here are some of my favorite pictures from the program:
Bajau breath diver with rock and spear gun, walking along the sea bottom, Sabah, Malaysia
Gerewol, Niger, Africa
Guarding crops, Simien Mountains, Ethiopia
Bajau sea gypsy girl on her family boat, Sabah, Malaysia
Double rainbow, Central Mongolia
Mother and child in a cave, Zanskar, Ladakh, Indian Himalayas
Gerewol, Niger, Africa
Wednesday, 2 March 2011
Jamie Oliver - Report Card
Dream School has just been on and once again Channel 4 has graced our television screens with a show that allows us to laugh at other people's misfortunes. This time Jamie Oliver, acting as a type of Minister for Education rather than a Chef, has organised for 20 kids to attend a 'dream school' where the teachers are experts in their fields.
I would give my right leg and probably a few fingers to be taught by David Starkey, yet the kids were uninterested, texting their friends (or each other?), and talking about anything but History. Starkey made a sly comment about one kid's weight and an argument erupted that lasted several days. Starkey refused to teach another lesson until the school accepted that the kids are too pampered and need rules. He is from a generation of rules and regulations, where students were expected to respect the teacher and learn in silence or be punished, not today David. The headmaster is talking about kicking Starkey off the course. If that doesn't show what's wrong with the country then I give up.
Jamie witnessed other lessons where kids were vulgar and disrespectful, somehow this is ok because they went through hardship in school, so we should feel sorry for them, give them a hug, and let them do whatever they want. That way we'll avoid hurting their feelings.
Some of the kids hate the program, some of the teachers (who are professionals with REAL jobs) are threatening to quit. So far not so good, but if you watch other Jamie Oliver programs (in particular where he tried changing a town's food habits in the USA) you'll see that the first episode always leaves you thinking Jamie will fail.
I'll give Jamie a C- for this episode, hopefully the kids will be disciplined or maybe be taught what the word 'respect' means. I don't really want to watch another episode where Rolf Harris feels sad, or where a thug with a spray can gets annoyed and wears a hoodie.
Fingers crossed.
PS. On the other hand, Starkey is a crap secondary school teacher who is completely disconnected from the modern world and should be replaced with someone young and enthusiastic... Dan Snow would have been FANTASTIC.
I would give my right leg and probably a few fingers to be taught by David Starkey, yet the kids were uninterested, texting their friends (or each other?), and talking about anything but History. Starkey made a sly comment about one kid's weight and an argument erupted that lasted several days. Starkey refused to teach another lesson until the school accepted that the kids are too pampered and need rules. He is from a generation of rules and regulations, where students were expected to respect the teacher and learn in silence or be punished, not today David. The headmaster is talking about kicking Starkey off the course. If that doesn't show what's wrong with the country then I give up.
Jamie witnessed other lessons where kids were vulgar and disrespectful, somehow this is ok because they went through hardship in school, so we should feel sorry for them, give them a hug, and let them do whatever they want. That way we'll avoid hurting their feelings.
Some of the kids hate the program, some of the teachers (who are professionals with REAL jobs) are threatening to quit. So far not so good, but if you watch other Jamie Oliver programs (in particular where he tried changing a town's food habits in the USA) you'll see that the first episode always leaves you thinking Jamie will fail.
I'll give Jamie a C- for this episode, hopefully the kids will be disciplined or maybe be taught what the word 'respect' means. I don't really want to watch another episode where Rolf Harris feels sad, or where a thug with a spray can gets annoyed and wears a hoodie.
Fingers crossed.
PS. On the other hand, Starkey is a crap secondary school teacher who is completely disconnected from the modern world and should be replaced with someone young and enthusiastic... Dan Snow would have been FANTASTIC.
Tuesday, 1 March 2011
War in Libya
Let's hope that if various countries (USA/UK) do go into Libya shooting frantically in all directions, that they have a better excuse than 'we thought he had WMDs'!
Luckily neo-conservatism is dead and buried, even New Labour is gone. So we should see a little more emphasis on refugee camps and food aid. On the other hand sanctions should strike a steady balance between soft-pointless-economic-slap-on-the-knuckles-non-permanent-punishment and all-out-war.
Sorry Gaddafi, your fashion sense is finally coming to an end.
Luckily neo-conservatism is dead and buried, even New Labour is gone. So we should see a little more emphasis on refugee camps and food aid. On the other hand sanctions should strike a steady balance between soft-pointless-economic-slap-on-the-knuckles-non-permanent-punishment and all-out-war.
Sorry Gaddafi, your fashion sense is finally coming to an end.
Monday, 28 February 2011
Out of Top Gear... for the moment (hopefully)
Last night saw the end of yet another Top Gear series, the 15 minute moon buggy segment showed May's brilliance, the 15 minutes race against the sun showed Clarkson's genius, the 15 minute interview with John Prescott was somewhat interesting, and the 15 minutes with Hammond's red cars were... boring.
Stuart Heritage, writing for the Guardian online, rightly says you could watch a Top Gear series in a medium-length toilet break. When the trio aren't being rude about the Mexicans they are quite brilliant, James May is a very good broadcaster (he got an honorary degree from Lancaster University last June for contributions to TV), Jeremy Clarkson is an all round interesting person with interesting things to say, Hammond needs to watch his language and get a hair cut if he wants to 'wow' us again like he did several years ago.
I'm not saying the show is dying, just that you can predict every show: 15 minutes car comparison, 15 minutes car test, 15 minute interview, 15 minute other vehicle-related test. Not boring, just not what it used to be...
PS. I am not at all slamming Richard Hammond, he adds a perspective to the team which is younger and more exciting than the other two, his presence is invaluable to the trio. I just think he needs to revamp the way he comes across on camera.
Hammond and his sweetheart Oliver (my favorite Botswana expedition)
Stuart Heritage, writing for the Guardian online, rightly says you could watch a Top Gear series in a medium-length toilet break. When the trio aren't being rude about the Mexicans they are quite brilliant, James May is a very good broadcaster (he got an honorary degree from Lancaster University last June for contributions to TV), Jeremy Clarkson is an all round interesting person with interesting things to say, Hammond needs to watch his language and get a hair cut if he wants to 'wow' us again like he did several years ago.
I'm not saying the show is dying, just that you can predict every show: 15 minutes car comparison, 15 minutes car test, 15 minute interview, 15 minute other vehicle-related test. Not boring, just not what it used to be...
PS. I am not at all slamming Richard Hammond, he adds a perspective to the team which is younger and more exciting than the other two, his presence is invaluable to the trio. I just think he needs to revamp the way he comes across on camera.
Wednesday, 23 February 2011
Dear Prime Minister, You Are Wrong
There's a great hoo ha over David Cameron's 'Big Society' theory. I call it a theory because nothing has yet materialised. Even Cameron's speeches on the subject have been fundamentally vague, suggesting even the PM isn't too sure what he wants.
Essentially people should stop relying on the government to resolve their issues and should solve problems themselves. In the Sunday Times, Jeremy Clarkson presents a brilliant example from his own village where the people gathered together in 1963 to save a public swimming pool from closure by organising a fundraising event, raising £12000 and saving the pool without the need to apply for a government grant or aid.
Clarkson then raises issue with the term 'Big' in 'Big Society'. His village grouped together to solve a problem and as a result the baker knows the florist who knows the children's choir an so on... He calls it a 'Small Society'. He also takes issue with the word 'community', slamming the government's assumption that the 'Muslim Community' is one single-minded entity.
Usually I would look for an alternative view to give this article some balance, but it's important Cameron gets this message. Terminology is important and a 'Small Society' doesn't mean the nation be stop being 'Great' Britain. The ideal living conditions for many Englishmen is the world JRR Tolkien created in the 'Lord of the Rings'; where all the Hobbits lived in their little community, completely at peace with the world. This romanticised world is seen in many novels by Jane Austin or Beatrix Potter.
Dear Mr Cameron, we want a small society.
Essentially people should stop relying on the government to resolve their issues and should solve problems themselves. In the Sunday Times, Jeremy Clarkson presents a brilliant example from his own village where the people gathered together in 1963 to save a public swimming pool from closure by organising a fundraising event, raising £12000 and saving the pool without the need to apply for a government grant or aid.
Clarkson then raises issue with the term 'Big' in 'Big Society'. His village grouped together to solve a problem and as a result the baker knows the florist who knows the children's choir an so on... He calls it a 'Small Society'. He also takes issue with the word 'community', slamming the government's assumption that the 'Muslim Community' is one single-minded entity.
Usually I would look for an alternative view to give this article some balance, but it's important Cameron gets this message. Terminology is important and a 'Small Society' doesn't mean the nation be stop being 'Great' Britain. The ideal living conditions for many Englishmen is the world JRR Tolkien created in the 'Lord of the Rings'; where all the Hobbits lived in their little community, completely at peace with the world. This romanticised world is seen in many novels by Jane Austin or Beatrix Potter.
Dear Mr Cameron, we want a small society.
Friday, 18 February 2011
The Passion of Rome
Rome at the time of Caesar bring about thoughts of sexual politics, true violence, sleaze, corruption and passion for beliefs; all seemed controlled by the men and women on top of the social food chain. Today in the UK, the same passion is active but hidden behind laws that affirm people power, loyalty to political parties and a health and safety culture which is eliminating any appearance of passion in the way the country is run.
Clegg and Cameron joined forces to oust an elderly Labour party, with ministers loyal to Blair or Brown out of the picture, Clegg's caricaturisation as a lamb amongst wolves shifted to second in command when a weaker Milliband took over Labour. Even Peter Mandelson was booted out and now remains retired alongside Prescott and other Blairites. Today it was announced that Cameron and Clegg have 'clashed' over the need to change the voting system. Cameron's allies include the Mayor of London, Clegg has an awkward relationship with the people, and Milliband is looking for a way to crack the party in charge. It may seem that the Etonian Cameron is ruling the country like his Consersative predecessors Thatcher or even Churchill, but he is quick to return to the people's favour by no longer selling off the forests of England. The people appreciate his effort, alienating Clegg and giving Labour less time to strengthen the opposition.
Like Rome, London is an arena for political mayhem, the violence is replaced by men in suits talking sweetly to the people and only hinting at vaguely disagreeing with the opposition. Rudeness is not tolerated as the health and safety culture fears offending anyone. On the other hand, with America acting the same and China growing in the East, a return to solid passionate values could rescue the reputation of Britain from sinking into an abysmal black hole in history.
I like drawing parallels from history, it's great fun!
Clegg and Cameron joined forces to oust an elderly Labour party, with ministers loyal to Blair or Brown out of the picture, Clegg's caricaturisation as a lamb amongst wolves shifted to second in command when a weaker Milliband took over Labour. Even Peter Mandelson was booted out and now remains retired alongside Prescott and other Blairites. Today it was announced that Cameron and Clegg have 'clashed' over the need to change the voting system. Cameron's allies include the Mayor of London, Clegg has an awkward relationship with the people, and Milliband is looking for a way to crack the party in charge. It may seem that the Etonian Cameron is ruling the country like his Consersative predecessors Thatcher or even Churchill, but he is quick to return to the people's favour by no longer selling off the forests of England. The people appreciate his effort, alienating Clegg and giving Labour less time to strengthen the opposition.
Like Rome, London is an arena for political mayhem, the violence is replaced by men in suits talking sweetly to the people and only hinting at vaguely disagreeing with the opposition. Rudeness is not tolerated as the health and safety culture fears offending anyone. On the other hand, with America acting the same and China growing in the East, a return to solid passionate values could rescue the reputation of Britain from sinking into an abysmal black hole in history.
I like drawing parallels from history, it's great fun!
Wednesday, 16 February 2011
Shakespeare's England
In his play King Richard II, William Shakespeare described England like this:
This royal throne of kings, this sceptred isle,
This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars,
This other Eden, demi-paradise,
This fortress built by Nature for herself
Against infection and the hand of war,
This happy breed of men, this little world,
This precious stone set in the silver sea,
Which serves it in the office of a wall
Or as a moat defensive to a house,
Against the envy of less happier lands,--
This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England.
Friday, 11 February 2011
Mubarak, Egypt, the Arab World and the so-called White Revolution
2011 has taken a surprisingly turn for the worst with regards to old African dictatorships. Alright maybe not 'dictatorships' as such but the oligarchs who ran Tunisia and Egypt since the height of the Cold War have been overrun by enthusiastic and revolutionary people, reminiscent of Europe at the fall of the Soviet Empire. I presume they have been known all this time by those in charge as the 'rabble', the 'peasants', the 'unwashed masses'. Well, take that old corrupt statesmen, democracy just kicked your arse!
Leaving aside the fact that the term democracy has evolved every day since antiquity, it is a breath of fresh air coming from an otherwise tormented continent. With Sudan in the middle of a divorce, the 'White Revolution' that has swept (or is sweeping) through the Arab world has suddenly made the Middle-East more exciting than the usual 'Iran hates Israel's guts' story. Let's not forget Iraq, if they play their cards right we could have Iraquis dictating (democratically!) the terms of a serious peace deal in the area if Egypt goes tits up.
On the subject of 'White Revolution', I disagree with the term. 'White' is historically the colour of royalty, the French flag has white in the middle to symbolise power is flanked (controlled) by the blue Assembly and the red People (or something to that effect). In the UK we had a 'Golden Revolution' which saw a swift and successful transition of power to the people (somewhat) with very little blood spilt (again... somewhat).
I think Egypt is experiencing it's own Golden Revolution, but that's just my opinion...
Leaving aside the fact that the term democracy has evolved every day since antiquity, it is a breath of fresh air coming from an otherwise tormented continent. With Sudan in the middle of a divorce, the 'White Revolution' that has swept (or is sweeping) through the Arab world has suddenly made the Middle-East more exciting than the usual 'Iran hates Israel's guts' story. Let's not forget Iraq, if they play their cards right we could have Iraquis dictating (democratically!) the terms of a serious peace deal in the area if Egypt goes tits up.
On the subject of 'White Revolution', I disagree with the term. 'White' is historically the colour of royalty, the French flag has white in the middle to symbolise power is flanked (controlled) by the blue Assembly and the red People (or something to that effect). In the UK we had a 'Golden Revolution' which saw a swift and successful transition of power to the people (somewhat) with very little blood spilt (again... somewhat).
I think Egypt is experiencing it's own Golden Revolution, but that's just my opinion...
Back to School
Not that my degree doesn't mean anything, it is an honours degree after all, and I did major in two subjects, but it seems I'm not getting very far with regards to earning money. So I'm off back to school, the London School of Journalism in fact...
Thursday, 10 February 2011
My Own Attempt at Filming
This was my first school project involving a video camera. George is a young boy who wants to know what the older kids are doing, I can't remember what the meaning was meant to be, but 4 years later it seems to hint on dealing with rejection, the innocence of child curiosity, and the longing to grow up. Mostly I think other people should guess what I meant it to, mostly for my own amusement!
I Could Have Been A Contender - More Great Cinema
Simply terrific acting I thought I should share. Here's the movie poster...
Wednesday, 9 February 2011
Weird Conversation
I arrive at a Sainsbury's car park and park. I'm in no mood to chat to anyone, just go in, shop, go home. Instead a man shouts at me from the shop door.
'Cor___t___sh'
I didn't catch that. 'Sorry?'
'Kort__osh'
Still no idea. 'Sorry I just want to shop.'
'KoraWorch?'
I check my car isn't parked in a priority zone, then look at him utterly bemused and annoyed he's still shouting when I'm standing right in front of him. 'No thanks.' I start walking off.
'Korworch????!!!'
This nutter is still shouting, he clearly doesn't speak English and I haven't done anything to warrant this abuse. Then I notice his trolley of mops and soaps.
He was asking me if I wanted my car washed. I turn around and say 'No thanks' before whizzing off to do my shopping.
'Cor___t___sh'
I didn't catch that. 'Sorry?'
'Kort__osh'
Still no idea. 'Sorry I just want to shop.'
'KoraWorch?'
I check my car isn't parked in a priority zone, then look at him utterly bemused and annoyed he's still shouting when I'm standing right in front of him. 'No thanks.' I start walking off.
'Korworch????!!!'
This nutter is still shouting, he clearly doesn't speak English and I haven't done anything to warrant this abuse. Then I notice his trolley of mops and soaps.
He was asking me if I wanted my car washed. I turn around and say 'No thanks' before whizzing off to do my shopping.
Tuesday, 8 February 2011
Marlon Brando does Shakespeare
Here is one of the greatest Shakespearean speeches performed by one the greatest actors... enjoy!
Monday, 7 February 2011
David Cameron and the Failure of State Multi-Culturalism
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-12372629
In this video Cameron describes how allowing every religion to be practiced leads to the segregation of a few who may turn to extremism. His speech was called 'patronising' by some religious groups but it reminded me of some philosophical speeches of the late 19th century where people weren't afraid of voicing their opinions on issues of the day.
Multiculturalism has been left to happen. The government let it birth into the country half a century ago and the ensuing tensions have not satisfyingly been address due to the possibility of offending people's religions. Avoiding these critical issues that multiculturalism has brought to the modern state may indeed lead to extremism. Like all regimes it is healthy (and in my opinion vital) to consider the social implications of its own existence. Of course it is fantastic that our country accepts all religions, faiths and socio-ethnic backgrounds but to my knowledge there hasn't been a man in Cameron's position who has questioned this acceptance. He doesn't want to deny liberties but instead renew a somewhat lost national identity, to strengthen the feeling of belonging to a single nation but without imposing rules on varying faiths.
British identity has been in crisis for half a century, if one calls himself 'English' he is branded right-wing, if he is 'British' he could be of any background living in the UK. I call myself British, though my mother was born in Jamaica, my father in London, I was born in France...
The difficulties arise when your nationality differs dramatically from the mainstream, and Cameron is right to voice the fear that this may be the cause of extremism on the borders of British society.
In this video Cameron describes how allowing every religion to be practiced leads to the segregation of a few who may turn to extremism. His speech was called 'patronising' by some religious groups but it reminded me of some philosophical speeches of the late 19th century where people weren't afraid of voicing their opinions on issues of the day.
Multiculturalism has been left to happen. The government let it birth into the country half a century ago and the ensuing tensions have not satisfyingly been address due to the possibility of offending people's religions. Avoiding these critical issues that multiculturalism has brought to the modern state may indeed lead to extremism. Like all regimes it is healthy (and in my opinion vital) to consider the social implications of its own existence. Of course it is fantastic that our country accepts all religions, faiths and socio-ethnic backgrounds but to my knowledge there hasn't been a man in Cameron's position who has questioned this acceptance. He doesn't want to deny liberties but instead renew a somewhat lost national identity, to strengthen the feeling of belonging to a single nation but without imposing rules on varying faiths.
British identity has been in crisis for half a century, if one calls himself 'English' he is branded right-wing, if he is 'British' he could be of any background living in the UK. I call myself British, though my mother was born in Jamaica, my father in London, I was born in France...
The difficulties arise when your nationality differs dramatically from the mainstream, and Cameron is right to voice the fear that this may be the cause of extremism on the borders of British society.
Sunday, 6 February 2011
Terrific Sword Fights
Today I participated in the Slough Open, held (logically) in Rickmansworth. I arrived prepared and was first on the piste. Sword in hand I walked up to the ref who proceeded to test my weapon. It failed the legal tests, so did my second sword. After accepting a red card I decided to scratch my first match and fix my best weapon. I did! I ended up winning one match 5-4 and loosing five 0-5, 4-5, 4-5, 2-3, 3-5.
I was ranked 100th after the poule out of 128, only the top 112 went through to the elimination round. But since I was ranked low I knew the guy I would face would be ranked considerably higher. Indeed he was ranked 29th, and he was Italian, notoriously awesome fencers. Here is the score procession=
ME vs ITALIAN
1-0
2-0
3-1
3-2
4-2
5-2
6-3
6-4
7-4
7-5
8-6
9-7
9-8
10-9
10-10
10-11
11-11
12-11
13-11
14-11
14-12
14-13
15-14
I won :)
I lost the next fight 6-15, but after 3 months not fencing I was really pleased with the result!
I was ranked 100th after the poule out of 128, only the top 112 went through to the elimination round. But since I was ranked low I knew the guy I would face would be ranked considerably higher. Indeed he was ranked 29th, and he was Italian, notoriously awesome fencers. Here is the score procession=
ME vs ITALIAN
1-0
2-0
3-1
3-2
4-2
5-2
6-3
6-4
7-4
7-5
8-6
9-7
9-8
10-9
10-10
10-11
11-11
12-11
13-11
14-11
14-12
14-13
15-14
I won :)
I lost the next fight 6-15, but after 3 months not fencing I was really pleased with the result!
Wednesday, 2 February 2011
Race for Life
Please support Cancer Research UK by sponsoring my girlfriend's run:
http://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/samanthagreen2604?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=newsfeed&utm_campaign=editpage
It's for a good cause!
http://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/samanthagreen2604?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=newsfeed&utm_campaign=editpage
It's for a good cause!
Tuesday, 1 February 2011
Crime is Rife
We always here about the police struggling to maintain a reputation of excellence and indeed the days of Sherlock Holmes are just as gone as the dodo's mating call. In a new effort to show the people what they do, the police have set up a map of England mapping out each crime in your neighbourhood. I typed in my post code (being in Slough I expected the crime rate to be high, but when moving in was assured we were in the safest part), and rather than being comforted that the police in my area were doing their jobs really well, I instead got this chilling sense of the sheer volume of crime in my local area.
So thank you, dear police, thank you for shrinking the little trust I had for those street walkers I see outside my window.
So thank you, dear police, thank you for shrinking the little trust I had for those street walkers I see outside my window.
Monday, 31 January 2011
Funny Stuff
The man who walked into the bar had hiccups, the gun scared him so much his hiccups went. Funny stuff indeed! Here's another one for a laugh, I'm on holiday at the moment so my next long post will have to be tomorrow.
A man is hanging in a barn, there is a puddle on the ground, the doors are closed and padlocked from the inside and the beams are too high to reach without a ladder. Yet the man is hanging from a short rope. What happened?
Until tomorrow my curious readers!
A man is hanging in a barn, there is a puddle on the ground, the doors are closed and padlocked from the inside and the beams are too high to reach without a ladder. Yet the man is hanging from a short rope. What happened?
Until tomorrow my curious readers!
Sunday, 30 January 2011
Conumdrums and curiosity
Here's a good puzzle I came across yesterday:
A man walks into a bar and asks for a glass of water. The barman quickly pulls a gun from under the bar and points it in the man's face. The man says thank you and walks out. Why?
I saw it in one of these puzzle books you get in Christmas stockings, I will post the answer in my next blog post.
Another puzzle is the fact that Britain only has one time zone while Scotland goes dark well before London. Russia has many time zones and they work fine!
Enough of rants for today, I'm holidaying in oxford :)
A man walks into a bar and asks for a glass of water. The barman quickly pulls a gun from under the bar and points it in the man's face. The man says thank you and walks out. Why?
I saw it in one of these puzzle books you get in Christmas stockings, I will post the answer in my next blog post.
Another puzzle is the fact that Britain only has one time zone while Scotland goes dark well before London. Russia has many time zones and they work fine!
Enough of rants for today, I'm holidaying in oxford :)
Saturday, 29 January 2011
Revolutions
Egypt has decided to follow Tunisia's example and overthrow a president who has been in power for 30 years. A ridiculous thing the government did was turning the internet off and thereby such social media as Twitter and Facebook.
I cannot help myself in thinking the 20th century was vastly characterised by revolutions, global wars, regional upheavals and the worst of tyrants. Here are a few countries that experienced revolutions: Algeria, China, Cuba, Hungary, Indonesia, Iran, Mexico, Nicaragua, Russia, Spain, Turkey and Zanzibar. The number of countries that saw a change of government is even greater and includes France, Germany, Japan and most countries in Europe and Africa. And the list goes on!
As far as I know, absolutely none of these revolutions had anything to do with Twitter or Facebook!
I cannot help myself in thinking the 20th century was vastly characterised by revolutions, global wars, regional upheavals and the worst of tyrants. Here are a few countries that experienced revolutions: Algeria, China, Cuba, Hungary, Indonesia, Iran, Mexico, Nicaragua, Russia, Spain, Turkey and Zanzibar. The number of countries that saw a change of government is even greater and includes France, Germany, Japan and most countries in Europe and Africa. And the list goes on!
As far as I know, absolutely none of these revolutions had anything to do with Twitter or Facebook!
Friday, 28 January 2011
The State of the World
UK - the conservatives don't like unions / weather is c-c-c-cold
USA - Obama has problems
Africa - Sudan split / Tunisia blew up / Egyptian army gives people a shower / Mandela is OK
Asia - Burma still confused over definition of democracy / China adopts property tax
Latin America - Mine explosion in Colombia / Free homes for wet Brazilians
North America - US trains gay troops / Piano on Miami beach
Middle-East - Yemen on fire / Palestine on fire / Iraq on fire
But we'll be fine because Andy Murray won his semi-final match in Oz :)
USA - Obama has problems
Africa - Sudan split / Tunisia blew up / Egyptian army gives people a shower / Mandela is OK
Asia - Burma still confused over definition of democracy / China adopts property tax
Latin America - Mine explosion in Colombia / Free homes for wet Brazilians
North America - US trains gay troops / Piano on Miami beach
Middle-East - Yemen on fire / Palestine on fire / Iraq on fire
But we'll be fine because Andy Murray won his semi-final match in Oz :)
Interview Woes
My first interview was with for the position of recruitment consultant. I was asked into an office and waited 10 minutes for a manager to interview me. Smiles all round his face he subjected me to a 'relaxed' interview where the only answers he wanted were about my hobbies and interests. 30 minutes past and I seemed to have convinced him I wanted the job. He said I'd be contacted for a second interview within the week.
Bearing in mind I was in Lancaster and the position was in Slough, you can imagine I wasn't exactly thrilled at the prospect of traveling the length of the country yet again for what could be a pointless chat! Instead I met the previous bloke's boss, a woman who as she walked into the room I could tell she wouldn't think twice about branding herself 'top dog in a dog eat dog world'. She sat, I sat, we began talking about my ambitions, my skills, my availability. I was ticking all the boxes. She then asked me about my sales experience; I had already told her I had no work experience, to which she frowned. ok, one box wasn't ticked. I asked her about the importance of being a salesman in a recruitment position... she said it was very important, and then criticised my general appearance/attitude/approach to life by saying I couldn't possibly interact with my colleagues if I was always shy.
I explained this was my first interview, and that I was naturally the kind of guy who smiles and takes things easy instead of jumping round the room with excitement, and maybe knocking a few heads in the process. I told her about my previous experience leading various teams and providing positive results. She said the people I would work with were always 110% all the time and I would be expected to go out to the pub for drinks every Friday. I quietly thought 110% is 10% more than possible, and I want a job not drinking budding who sounded like pricks.
The final stage of the interview was a test. Apprentice style. I had to think of a product in 6 minutes and detail the marketing and sales budget. She came back in with a guy holding a calculator. I gave my presentation. She was not impressed, she asked me if I thought of the inflation that applied to the cost of renting factory space in China... whatever.
She had clearly chosen the right candidate before my interview, the questions had nothing to do with recruitment, and she didn't take into account the fact I had NEVER done this before!
Recruiters beware! I'm on to you!
Bearing in mind I was in Lancaster and the position was in Slough, you can imagine I wasn't exactly thrilled at the prospect of traveling the length of the country yet again for what could be a pointless chat! Instead I met the previous bloke's boss, a woman who as she walked into the room I could tell she wouldn't think twice about branding herself 'top dog in a dog eat dog world'. She sat, I sat, we began talking about my ambitions, my skills, my availability. I was ticking all the boxes. She then asked me about my sales experience; I had already told her I had no work experience, to which she frowned. ok, one box wasn't ticked. I asked her about the importance of being a salesman in a recruitment position... she said it was very important, and then criticised my general appearance/attitude/approach to life by saying I couldn't possibly interact with my colleagues if I was always shy.
I explained this was my first interview, and that I was naturally the kind of guy who smiles and takes things easy instead of jumping round the room with excitement, and maybe knocking a few heads in the process. I told her about my previous experience leading various teams and providing positive results. She said the people I would work with were always 110% all the time and I would be expected to go out to the pub for drinks every Friday. I quietly thought 110% is 10% more than possible, and I want a job not drinking budding who sounded like pricks.
The final stage of the interview was a test. Apprentice style. I had to think of a product in 6 minutes and detail the marketing and sales budget. She came back in with a guy holding a calculator. I gave my presentation. She was not impressed, she asked me if I thought of the inflation that applied to the cost of renting factory space in China... whatever.
She had clearly chosen the right candidate before my interview, the questions had nothing to do with recruitment, and she didn't take into account the fact I had NEVER done this before!
Recruiters beware! I'm on to you!
Endless Driving
At university I drove a minibus taking the fencing team around the country to what turned out to be many of our best victories. One particular trip stand out: Leeds. This immense city has a series of one way roads that are cunningly positioned to offer drivers the opportunity to get from one end of the city to the other without going through the centre.
We left Lancaster at 11 o'clock, leaving plenty of time for our 2 o'clock match; the road down was pretty straight forward, motorway down to Manchester then a second leg to Leeds. Done. No! We knew where the campus was but the one way system took us to the other side of town. Our natural flair got us even more lost until we decided to make the ultimate humiliation for any male driver by asking for directions. 'oh dear' the directions weren't good so far, 'you're miles away, go up that road to the car park and a traffic warden will help you'. Great, we left the big road and I ended up driving a large vehicle through the small streets of an unknown city.
One good thing was that the directionless man was right about the traffic warden in the car park, who was so nice he gave us a map! 10 minutes later we arrived at the gates to the campus, about half an hour late for the match, no worries though, we had some very fast fencers with us and could still grab victory on a good day. This day however was not a good day. The university was experiencing what we should have been dreading the most... an open day. What seemed to be hundreds of millions of people were flocking at the gates and the campus parking was reserved for those young ignorant teenagers. We were given directions to another car park which we promptly set off for. We arrived at a large empty field labeled 'car park', success! No, this was reserved for the open day. We were given more directions and yet again we came to dead ends. We considered just leaving the bus on the side of the road but these spaces were reserved for permit holders only.
Finally we arrived back at the front gate, I pleaded a great plea and ended up handing over a crisp 5 pound note, the guard in his bright yellow jacket acted like he couldn't see us go through and we finally made it to the car park. We ran as fast as possible but it was no use, we scored some good points and lost by a small margin. Later we found out their best players were either ill or in exams, so we left disheartened. Victory could have easily been ours against one of the strongest teams in the league.
We got back at 7pm, I had done a little over 6 hours solid driving. On the positive side, we maintained our place in the league table, coming second behind mighty Manchester. We got through to the Trophy play-offs and ended up semi-finalists, loosing to Loughborough who went on to win a promotion.
We left Lancaster at 11 o'clock, leaving plenty of time for our 2 o'clock match; the road down was pretty straight forward, motorway down to Manchester then a second leg to Leeds. Done. No! We knew where the campus was but the one way system took us to the other side of town. Our natural flair got us even more lost until we decided to make the ultimate humiliation for any male driver by asking for directions. 'oh dear' the directions weren't good so far, 'you're miles away, go up that road to the car park and a traffic warden will help you'. Great, we left the big road and I ended up driving a large vehicle through the small streets of an unknown city.
One good thing was that the directionless man was right about the traffic warden in the car park, who was so nice he gave us a map! 10 minutes later we arrived at the gates to the campus, about half an hour late for the match, no worries though, we had some very fast fencers with us and could still grab victory on a good day. This day however was not a good day. The university was experiencing what we should have been dreading the most... an open day. What seemed to be hundreds of millions of people were flocking at the gates and the campus parking was reserved for those young ignorant teenagers. We were given directions to another car park which we promptly set off for. We arrived at a large empty field labeled 'car park', success! No, this was reserved for the open day. We were given more directions and yet again we came to dead ends. We considered just leaving the bus on the side of the road but these spaces were reserved for permit holders only.
Finally we arrived back at the front gate, I pleaded a great plea and ended up handing over a crisp 5 pound note, the guard in his bright yellow jacket acted like he couldn't see us go through and we finally made it to the car park. We ran as fast as possible but it was no use, we scored some good points and lost by a small margin. Later we found out their best players were either ill or in exams, so we left disheartened. Victory could have easily been ours against one of the strongest teams in the league.
We got back at 7pm, I had done a little over 6 hours solid driving. On the positive side, we maintained our place in the league table, coming second behind mighty Manchester. We got through to the Trophy play-offs and ended up semi-finalists, loosing to Loughborough who went on to win a promotion.
Thursday, 27 January 2011
Rather Cold Swim
Having lived in the south of France I get a lot of 'you must have been swimming every day!', but I tend to be quite picky on what temperature the water is. Our pool used to be heated to 28 degrees Celsius, but I still didn't go near it unless the sun got it closer to 30!
I now sit in absolute awe at the polar bear that swam 426 miles in the Arctic sea. FOUR HUNDRED AND TWENTY SIX MILES. Crikey! The water varied from 2 to 6 degrees and it took the bear 9 days to make the epic journey.
Here is the BBC story: http://news.bbc.co.uk/earth/hi/earth_news/newsid_9369000/9369317.stm
I now sit in absolute awe at the polar bear that swam 426 miles in the Arctic sea. FOUR HUNDRED AND TWENTY SIX MILES. Crikey! The water varied from 2 to 6 degrees and it took the bear 9 days to make the epic journey.
Here is the BBC story: http://news.bbc.co.uk/earth/hi/earth_news/newsid_9369000/9369317.stm
Wednesday, 26 January 2011
News Times are Old Times
Meritocracy seems to have taken a beating with the credit crunch, the new government's tax rises, higher bills, worse weather, terrorist attacks etc.... okay maybe all those cannot be blamed but we are all told to expect being poorer. Historians are quick to tell us how people in the 1920s survived despite the crunches in the economy. The fact that the British Empire collapsed and the world went to war after the 20s doesn't seem to have leaked into the news yet. In many ways the second world war can be blamed for economic troubles, and those same troubles can directly explain the rise of the far-right in Germany. We've shifted very slightly to the right in Britain but it will be interesting to see what happens in Europe. The US has already seen Republican victories in government.
Bad Jokes vs Quality Jokes
Last night I watched 'Have I got News for You' for what felt like the millionth repeat on TV. The gang were laughing at politicians (as one does) and of course Ann Widdecombe popped into the conversation. The main punchline seemed to be that she shouldn't be in power because she's ugly. 'Ugly!?!' exclaimed David Mitchell in a manner that suggested he was ashamed at how low his friends' humour could get. He went on, as I am about to, describe exactly WHY we should be against her:
She is against abortion and sex education, she supports homophobia and censorship, she doesn't believe in climate change, she is against political parties helping women get into Parliament.
On the plus side I suppose she is against fox hunting, but then she's against stem cell research which she obviously doesn't fully understand... we're not going to make a human/animal hybrid!
Political humour has captivated Britain over the past decade, every day there seems to be a show dedicated to satire and talk shows get the most laughs out of our dear old politicians.... Gordon Brown's so-called 'smile' is still a laughing matter! But let's try understanding our politics in more depth, and not start voting against people just because they're ugly.
She is against abortion and sex education, she supports homophobia and censorship, she doesn't believe in climate change, she is against political parties helping women get into Parliament.
On the plus side I suppose she is against fox hunting, but then she's against stem cell research which she obviously doesn't fully understand... we're not going to make a human/animal hybrid!
Political humour has captivated Britain over the past decade, every day there seems to be a show dedicated to satire and talk shows get the most laughs out of our dear old politicians.... Gordon Brown's so-called 'smile' is still a laughing matter! But let's try understanding our politics in more depth, and not start voting against people just because they're ugly.
Tuesday, 25 January 2011
Freedom and Fun of Fencing
I started fencing 2 years ago at university. Foil is the first weapon I used, it's great for beginners as you learn footwork, right of way, how to feint, parry and score a hit on target (chest). Within 2 weeks I was given a quick lesson with an epee and I found out, along with my coach, that I was quite good. With epee, the whole body is target, there are no right of ways and it's the best form of free dueling.
I've been to a dozen competitions and risen to rank 308 in the country. It is so addictive that even with money shortages I am still going to the Slough Open on February 5th. I best feeling is standing toe to toe with another fencer, masks on, weapons ready, and thinking that in 3 minutes time one of us will have won.
It's very expensive but worth every penny (well...almost!).
I've been to a dozen competitions and risen to rank 308 in the country. It is so addictive that even with money shortages I am still going to the Slough Open on February 5th. I best feeling is standing toe to toe with another fencer, masks on, weapons ready, and thinking that in 3 minutes time one of us will have won.
It's very expensive but worth every penny (well...almost!).
Monday, 24 January 2011
The Credit Crisis Explained
As if I could.
Here's the genius of Jonathan Jarvis, the credit crunch visualised:
http://vimeo.com/3261363
Here's the genius of Jonathan Jarvis, the credit crunch visualised:
http://vimeo.com/3261363
Rat Problem
Number 10, Downing Street is experiencing a rat problem. With all the spending cuts, VAT rises, and MP's telling people bluntly that the riches of the past decade have come to an end, I think it's quite ironic that even the Prime Minister is living with something that represents poverty.
I wonder if the rat has a facebook group...
I wonder if the rat has a facebook group...
Sunday, 23 January 2011
Don't mention the war!
Last December the great Mr Stephen Fry was recorded on popular television show QI saying the unluckiest man in the world was one Tsutomu Yamaguchi. He was on a business trip in Hiroshima on August 6th 1945 when the first bomb went off, then returned to his home in Nagasaki on August 9th, when the second bomb went off. As soon as Fry said this Japanese viewers contacted diplomatic staff to complain.
There wouldn't have been any offence if the world understood British humour. Monty Python and Fawlty Towers spent a whole generation getting laughs out of the war, so much so that 'Don't mention the war!' is very recognisable in modern British culture. If I survived the only two atomic bomb explosions in the history of the world, I would certainly consider myself the unluckiest man in the world.
Let's take another example; Violet Constance Jessop was an ocean liner stewardess and nurse.
- In 1911 she was on RMS Olympic went it collided with HMS Hawke off the Isle of Wight, it didn't sink, but slowly made its way back to Southampton.
-In 1912 she was on RMS Titanic when it struck an iceberg, she spent then night in a lifeboat before being rescued.
-1916 she was on HMHS Britannic, a British Red Cross ship, when it hit a mine in the Aegean Sea. During the sinking her lifeboat was sucked under a propeller, she jumped out and struck her head on the ship's keel. She was rescued and stated her thick hair cushioned her head and saved her.
I think it's fairly safe to call her the unluckiest woman in the world; I'm afraid I'm with Fry on this one!
There wouldn't have been any offence if the world understood British humour. Monty Python and Fawlty Towers spent a whole generation getting laughs out of the war, so much so that 'Don't mention the war!' is very recognisable in modern British culture. If I survived the only two atomic bomb explosions in the history of the world, I would certainly consider myself the unluckiest man in the world.
Let's take another example; Violet Constance Jessop was an ocean liner stewardess and nurse.
- In 1911 she was on RMS Olympic went it collided with HMS Hawke off the Isle of Wight, it didn't sink, but slowly made its way back to Southampton.
-In 1912 she was on RMS Titanic when it struck an iceberg, she spent then night in a lifeboat before being rescued.
-1916 she was on HMHS Britannic, a British Red Cross ship, when it hit a mine in the Aegean Sea. During the sinking her lifeboat was sucked under a propeller, she jumped out and struck her head on the ship's keel. She was rescued and stated her thick hair cushioned her head and saved her.
I think it's fairly safe to call her the unluckiest woman in the world; I'm afraid I'm with Fry on this one!
Saturday, 22 January 2011
DIY disasters
My flat is currently 90% Ikea. Why shouldn't it be? I've always bought from them and they make the simplest of units. The other day however, I decided to do something different and get a bookcase from a shop that doesn't specialise in furniture. Skepticism aside I strode into the store and made the purchase; I guess the price tag was the attractive thing. Once back at home I opened the box to find ridiculously complicated instructions, the wood was good quality but the screws felt odd.
Now it stands against the wall with three of the nine screw tops sticking out about a quarter of an inch, impossible to push them further into the wood. The assembly was also disastrous, if you can imagine the frame: I had to screw the left side to the bottom, then put the right side on and end with the top. What is meant to support the creation until completion?
Utterly bizarre but at least it works!
Now it stands against the wall with three of the nine screw tops sticking out about a quarter of an inch, impossible to push them further into the wood. The assembly was also disastrous, if you can imagine the frame: I had to screw the left side to the bottom, then put the right side on and end with the top. What is meant to support the creation until completion?
Utterly bizarre but at least it works!
A Winter's Night / Short Prose
A distant line of white light traversed the horizon, piercing the clouds in mid-afternoon suggesting the sun would set within the hour. The clouds were heavy with a tired mist which the cold winter air seemed to freeze in space, the dome this created gave all creatures under its gaze a quiet sense of duty: eat and seek warmth. Under this cloudy dome stood skeletal trees, a few of which still had dying yellow leaves clutching for dear life, whilst all their compatriots lay dead on the ground, an orange carpet which was welcomed by the mud-loathing walkers of the winter season. No wind, branches stood as still as the air that fed them, the only movement one could see was the silent hop of an unidentifiable bird pecking the ground for seeds, disturbed only by the rapid shuffle of a hungry squirrel. A mist was forming from the water behind the trees, enveloping the trunks in a dense haze that suggested the clouds were hungry for the bark. A deer retreated deeper into the foliage somewhere to the left, one could only ever see it from out the corner of the eye. This particular eye belonged to a somewhat grumpy man in his late forties, who had decided he would enjoy the end of the day sitting outside listening to nature; typical then for nature to be so quiet at this time of year. The white light had now turned blue and he expected the sun (wherever it was) to steal away the remaining clarity the day in about half an hour. He was a lumberjack, a hard working contributor to the local villagers’ warmth. An axe lay to his side, its head buried in a log for safety. He enjoyed the cool air and as the sky turned light blue to the west he felt a sense of utter peace enter his mind. He closed his eyes, shutting out the view from his hilltop property and breathed in as he dozed off. The village was also resting, about five miles from the lumberjack it consisted of little less than 500 people scattered over a fairly wide area. While he was in the North end, most of the people were centred along the High Street, farmer Chipperfield resided to the east, farmer Johnson to the south and Mr. Percy owned the watermill to the west. Within these boundaries lived the people of Lupton. The light faded over the gloomy country and silence took complete hold of the landscape, not even the smallest of birds made a sound, the trees stood still, frost began to consume the grass, that’s when the lumberjack woke up. He didn’t know how or why, but something about the quiet deafened him enough to wake him. It was dark, pitch black, the darkest night of the winter so far engulfed the trees into the distance while the clouds retained some light, suggesting the moon was somewhere above. He gazed over the tree tops and his vision eventually adjusted. Something moved about on hundred feet away. He sat still, held his breath, ignored his heartbeat and listened as hard as he could. It weighed as much as a large dog, if not more, it moved carefully. A light step meant it had caught his smell. A wolf? He spotted motion, too short to be a deer. Another step, it was walking in a semi-circle, not directly at him, but testing the situation before moving in. One hand slowly lifted off the arm rest onto the axe beside him; he yanked it carefully, not wanting to look alarmed. The axe was embedded too deeply in the wood so he estimated the distance to the door: 3 steps, the handle was on the far side. He stared at it with such intensity that he felt he perceived it’s every move and thought. As his hand let go of the axe, it brushed again a cold glass bottle. Another step signalled the lumberjack’s last chance to make a move, he grabbed the bottle and threw it high, not aiming to hit the animal but when it landed, he would take advantage of the split second of the animal’s distraction to leap up and close himself safely in his home. And sure enough, before he could think of where the beast was, he had locked himself safely inside. Taking his first breath since hatching his plan, he heard it on the other side on the door. He’d seen some large predators in the area before, but this beast sounded enormous. With confidence he stood up, relaxed, and peered out the window. He caught a glimpse of the animal just as it rounded the corner of his house. The doors were closed, locked. He was safe, this peaceful winter’s night would be spoilt by his murder.
Friday, 21 January 2011
Meals on planes
As a random act of writing madness, I'm going to share some gastronomic experiences of mine on planes. One particular item of what was meant to be edible 'food' stands out in the history of my hundreds of flights: a pink cube. What could it be?
As the tray was placed in front of me I immediately recognised the typical round bread (too hard for restaurants to serve but somewhat tasty with butter), the hot dish (chicken, green beans, a disconcertingly yellow mash), the knife and fork wrapped in plastic and surrounded by a peppering of salt bags (no pepper this time), and of course the pot of water (squeezed out of the purest volcano springs of France). Then I saw what could only be desert. Before touching, prodding and poking it I inspected it's shape; definitely a cube. Sitting on its little plate it rested, pink, the light reflecting dimly off it's surface. Was it gelatinous? No, just very smooth. I gave it a poke, not so hard as to disturb it from it place in the middle of the plate, but enough to feel the solidity of it's magnificently even shape. Not quite a mousse, too hard. But not a biscuit either. I inspected the other specimens on my row, the other pink curiosities were receiving the same treatment. One I saw was gulped up by a rather large man, he belched but seemed quite satisfied. I opened my cutlery and readied my fork, in Sherlock Holmes fashion I frowned as I went to give this food a prod. Interrupted. The steward asked if all was okay. 'Yes' i answered, but in a way that showed I had a question, 'what is this?'. He smiled condescendingly, 'chocolate'.
My second memorable experience with food was a late night flight from Montreal to Munich on Lufthansa. As if the seats in economy and the service weren't enough to praise this great airline, the meal was made me wonder if I was dreaming. I must stress at this point that my flight history includes some pretty horrific incidents, and people with more experience in business or first might not appreciate what I'm going to write.
I was sat against the window (my favorite seat) with an empty seat next to me. This was thanks to some clever rearranging by the stewardess who, with skill and expertise, politely moved 4 people around the cabin in order for me to get two seats to myself and for a young couple to sit comfortably with their newborn baby. The first shock was when the tray arrived, I prepared myself for disappointment (being British, this way I am rarely disappointed). I saw the bread (soft, made of clouds?), the hot dish (chicken, gravy, mashed potatoes, peas, carrots... and all the right colour!), dessert was a beautiful (and generous portion) black forest gateau, then the cutlery (metal, with a pattern!). Metal cutlery in economy? I've told many people this and apparently it's a common occurrence, bringing to mind that I've spent too long these past years flying on low budget airlines. My top airlines had been Air New Zealand, Air Jordan and Air Canada but my first experience with Lufthansa has changed my view of the world (somewhat). As if I wasn't happy enough, I was then offered wine, and spent the rest of the night with a great bottle of red. I didn't want to leave, but my trip had the sole purpose of getting from Montreal to Toulouse to propose to my girlfriend; it included a the Atlantic flight to Munich, a small business jet to London, the day walking around, an evening train to Paris, an overnight train to Toulouse and finally a car ride to my girlfriend's. The misery of the French train network couldn't dampen my spirits after that great flight. All this was followed by me proposing in an Italian restaurant overlooking a square in Toulouse at sunset; I had fettuccine with salmon and a glass of white wine, so not a bad day!
These are my two extremes of 'meals of planes' experiences; so now when I see a tray put in front of me on a plane I always think 'I've seen pink chocolate, whatever it is I won't be shocked.'
As the tray was placed in front of me I immediately recognised the typical round bread (too hard for restaurants to serve but somewhat tasty with butter), the hot dish (chicken, green beans, a disconcertingly yellow mash), the knife and fork wrapped in plastic and surrounded by a peppering of salt bags (no pepper this time), and of course the pot of water (squeezed out of the purest volcano springs of France). Then I saw what could only be desert. Before touching, prodding and poking it I inspected it's shape; definitely a cube. Sitting on its little plate it rested, pink, the light reflecting dimly off it's surface. Was it gelatinous? No, just very smooth. I gave it a poke, not so hard as to disturb it from it place in the middle of the plate, but enough to feel the solidity of it's magnificently even shape. Not quite a mousse, too hard. But not a biscuit either. I inspected the other specimens on my row, the other pink curiosities were receiving the same treatment. One I saw was gulped up by a rather large man, he belched but seemed quite satisfied. I opened my cutlery and readied my fork, in Sherlock Holmes fashion I frowned as I went to give this food a prod. Interrupted. The steward asked if all was okay. 'Yes' i answered, but in a way that showed I had a question, 'what is this?'. He smiled condescendingly, 'chocolate'.
My second memorable experience with food was a late night flight from Montreal to Munich on Lufthansa. As if the seats in economy and the service weren't enough to praise this great airline, the meal was made me wonder if I was dreaming. I must stress at this point that my flight history includes some pretty horrific incidents, and people with more experience in business or first might not appreciate what I'm going to write.
I was sat against the window (my favorite seat) with an empty seat next to me. This was thanks to some clever rearranging by the stewardess who, with skill and expertise, politely moved 4 people around the cabin in order for me to get two seats to myself and for a young couple to sit comfortably with their newborn baby. The first shock was when the tray arrived, I prepared myself for disappointment (being British, this way I am rarely disappointed). I saw the bread (soft, made of clouds?), the hot dish (chicken, gravy, mashed potatoes, peas, carrots... and all the right colour!), dessert was a beautiful (and generous portion) black forest gateau, then the cutlery (metal, with a pattern!). Metal cutlery in economy? I've told many people this and apparently it's a common occurrence, bringing to mind that I've spent too long these past years flying on low budget airlines. My top airlines had been Air New Zealand, Air Jordan and Air Canada but my first experience with Lufthansa has changed my view of the world (somewhat). As if I wasn't happy enough, I was then offered wine, and spent the rest of the night with a great bottle of red. I didn't want to leave, but my trip had the sole purpose of getting from Montreal to Toulouse to propose to my girlfriend; it included a the Atlantic flight to Munich, a small business jet to London, the day walking around, an evening train to Paris, an overnight train to Toulouse and finally a car ride to my girlfriend's. The misery of the French train network couldn't dampen my spirits after that great flight. All this was followed by me proposing in an Italian restaurant overlooking a square in Toulouse at sunset; I had fettuccine with salmon and a glass of white wine, so not a bad day!
These are my two extremes of 'meals of planes' experiences; so now when I see a tray put in front of me on a plane I always think 'I've seen pink chocolate, whatever it is I won't be shocked.'
Thursday, 20 January 2011
Living the life... almost
This morning's news told the country we should consider living like our previous generations did during the war. In 1941 the streets were littered with posters asking people to save water, save power, reduce weekly shops to rations and people did just that. In our squeaky clean and high tech society, can we possibly save money and resources to the same extent?
- Cling film on single glazed windows to keep heat in
- Boiler off, jumpers on
- TV off standby
- Reduce driving to a bare minimum
I've already tried some of these, the cling film is brilliant! We've also cut the petrol bill by 25% just by planning journeys ahead, including trips to the shops within trips back from work. The best thing I did with the car is keep it in a high gear all the time to keep the revs down. Our average fuel spending has gone from £42/2weeks to £37/2weeks, that's a saving of £130 over the year. And we counted the saving after the VAT rise!
KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON!
- Cling film on single glazed windows to keep heat in
- Boiler off, jumpers on
- TV off standby
- Reduce driving to a bare minimum
I've already tried some of these, the cling film is brilliant! We've also cut the petrol bill by 25% just by planning journeys ahead, including trips to the shops within trips back from work. The best thing I did with the car is keep it in a high gear all the time to keep the revs down. Our average fuel spending has gone from £42/2weeks to £37/2weeks, that's a saving of £130 over the year. And we counted the saving after the VAT rise!
KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON!
Wednesday, 19 January 2011
France in all its glory
Something in the back of my head is telling me this morning's post slammed France a bit too hard, so this post is here to balance things out. The attitude of the French is enormously relaxed compared to the English. A 'Mediterranean' attitude to the world in many ways, France's fellow Latin neighbours also treat their own countries as the best things on Earth. No surprise that most have had fascist governments in the past century; and it is exactly the government that will help my argument: the problem with France is not the people, but the structure within which the people operate.
Take old Chirac for instance. He believed in his country, he put very capable people in top positions to address important issues. On the other hand his personal costs were staggering; Elysée bills reached €90m in 2005 but Mr Chirac had always been notorious for his food bills well before he arrived there. When mayor of Paris, he and his wife spent the equivalent of €251,000 on food in one year. Their personal food bill over eight years at Paris town hall was €2million, which includes €60 a day spent on herbal tea. Nothing was in place to stop him, and when a storm kicked off calling for him to be arrested once his presidency ended, he tried becoming a 'senator for life', also known as 'rich untouchable bureaucrat'.
France is proud to be French, I could slam France all day but they will still be happy being French, and the English will still be miserable! Maybe it's their good weather...
Take old Chirac for instance. He believed in his country, he put very capable people in top positions to address important issues. On the other hand his personal costs were staggering; Elysée bills reached €90m in 2005 but Mr Chirac had always been notorious for his food bills well before he arrived there. When mayor of Paris, he and his wife spent the equivalent of €251,000 on food in one year. Their personal food bill over eight years at Paris town hall was €2million, which includes €60 a day spent on herbal tea. Nothing was in place to stop him, and when a storm kicked off calling for him to be arrested once his presidency ended, he tried becoming a 'senator for life', also known as 'rich untouchable bureaucrat'.
France is proud to be French, I could slam France all day but they will still be happy being French, and the English will still be miserable! Maybe it's their good weather...
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